Difficult Conversations: After The Talk

Updated: Dec 30, 2018

You've had the conversation and you didn't die! Phew. So what next?

This is a 3-part series on difficult conversations, please read Before the Talk and During The Talk.

Results Will Vary: Sometimes after the discussion you will see results, and other times you won't. The truth is, you can't control people's behaviour but what you can control is yourself, and your reaction.

Here are a couple of things I keep in mind after the conversation:

Give them time: Not everyone is comfortable with receiving constructive feedback so if you notice a bit of hostility, that’s okay. Stay consistent in your behaviour towards them and avoid mirroring the hostility.

Appreciate their efforts: When you notice improvements or even attempts at improvements, commend them. Take time to notice if they have made changes. This means your feedback was effective! Thank them and acknowledge that you appreciate their responsiveness.

Change won't happen overnight: If you notice the very issues you gave feedback about still happening, give it time. Some people take a while to learn.

And if it’s taking too long? If the issue still persists after a while, you could explore these routes depending on the group the person comes under.

Your Team: Communicate again with specific examples and the impact of continued behaviour (and be ready to show this because you will be tested)

Your Peer: Have another conversation, this time more from the angle of the implication of their continued behaviour, or let it go.

Your Boss: Focus on areas within your control and take a decision.

I hope this helps you as much it has helped me over the years!

As always, with love,


Next Post: You're A Manager, Now What?


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